..somewhere along the line...I don't know where my life is going at the moment...

First up I want to thank (sounds like an Oscars speech) Mab and Danette for dropping into unfamiliar Bravent territory to say hi, I appreciate it more than you 2 know. Thanks. I'm a very messed up RatMagick right now and you putting up with me is really appreciated heaps.

I keep catching myself at work sitting at my desk, head on the keyboard, thinking "what the hell am I doing?". I have a job that I never was, nor ever will be cut out for - why do it? because we need the money. I'm a job whore - if that makes any sense. I do it so that we can pay the bills and have something of a life, but most of the time it just feels like such a thankless task. Then when I get home there are so many chores (I love that word, don't know why, it's a Granny type word) to be done, all thankless tasks also, but if I don't do them they'll never get done. Then, late in the evening, I get time to myself...which I spend with my boys and my books...it's bliss, but it never lasts long enough and the daily wait for that time to come around is unbearable some days. I'm sure I sound ridiculously self indulgent, I'm just having a chronic "why do I bother?" month.

Well, my little Louie is waiting expectantly for a cuddle - then it's time to do laundry and tidy up - go me. I'm going to try some more meditation tonight, so far I get about 20 mins into it and then fall asleep. Working from Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft at the mo, which is a little intense, but a mine of information.